When work is getting on top of you, it can be difficult to know where to begin. Everything becomes tangled together: the workload, your manager, other people’s expectations, decisions being made above you and your own worry about what might happen next.
The result can be a constant feeling of pressure without any clear sense of what to do about it.
My online counselling for work-related stress often involves helping people separate these different pressures. Not because the problems aren’t real, but because trying to solve everything at once usually leaves us feeling even more powerless.
A practical place to start is to divide the situation into three circles.
Three circles exercise
Take a sheet of paper and draw three circles, one inside the other.
In the first circle, write down what you can control directly. This might include:
Whether you take a proper break
How you organise the next hour
Whether you ask for clarification
What you say yes or no to
Whether you answer emails late at night
Who you speak to about what is happening
These actions might feel small compared with the wider problem. That does not make them unimportant. When work feels overwhelming, recovering even a little control can interrupt the sense that everything is simply happening to you.
In the second circle, write down what you may be able to influence but cannot decide on your own. This could include your workload, deadlines, how responsibilities are divided, the support you receive or how often you meet with your manager.
The practical question here is: what conversation, request or evidence might shift this?
You might ask for priorities to be confirmed in writing. You could explain what will not be completed if another task is added. You might keep a record of workloads, missed breaks or repeated changes of direction. If the problem is more serious, you may need advice from HR, your trade union, occupational health or another appropriate source.
The third circle contains what you cannot presently control. This might include a senior appointment, organisational restructuring, another person’s behaviour or a decision that has already been made.
This is often the hardest circle. The aim is not to pretend these things don’t matter. It is to notice when you are repeatedly trying to think your way into controlling something that is not yours to control.
Sometimes the useful next step is personal: taking a break, turning off notifications or speaking honestly with someone you trust. Sometimes it is organisational: raising the workload, requesting an adjustment, documenting the problem or challenging an unreasonable expectation.
Once you have completed the three circles, choose one step from the control circle and one possible step from the influence circle.
Make both specific enough to carry out.
“Set better boundaries” is vague. “I will not check work email after 7pm tonight” is clear.
“Speak to my manager” may feel daunting. “I will request a meeting and take a written list of my current priorities” is more manageable.
This isn’t about letting employers off the hook Work-related stress is not simply an individual failure to cope or power on through. The Health and Safety Executive says employers have a legal duty to assess and act on the risk of work-related stress. Its Management Standards identify demands, control, support, relationships, role and change as key areas that employers should manage properly. The HSE’s October 2026 work-related stress campaign also makes the point clearly: listening to employees is only the beginning; employers must act on what they hear.
The circles exercise does not transfer that responsibility to the employee. It helps you decide where to put your limited energy while the wider problem is being addressed.
This will not solve every workplace problem overnight. It can, however, replace some of the helplessness with a clearer view of what you can do next.
For more immediate ways to bring your stress level down, read How to calm work stress quickly.
If work is affecting your sleep, mood or ability to switch off, you can also contact me to enquire about future counselling availability.
Niall is a BACP-registered person-centred counsellor and former lawyer, civil servant, NHS policy leader, workplace coach and mentor. Niall specialises in work-related stress, burnout and professional pressure.